A Christmas Present for FemiSex.
Readers often send personal notes to FemiSex via the Contact Link on the page. I usually consider those not for printing, but this week the below missive came to us and it is simply too excellent not to post. The intent of the writer seems clear--sharing it with the most eyeballs for the greatest response. I will not publish any identifying information on the writer, but would be most happy to publish her name if I hear from this writer that she wishes for us to do so.
I did no edits other than the addition of Caps to guide readers.
Happy Holidays and enjoy!!
M. A. Liginter

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT “WOMEN” CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT.

With a deep sadness I realized during this election time that we live in an
acutely misogynistic society (yes, including some women who learned to trash
their own to get extra points from the "boys") that allowed good people in
helpless frustration witness how the most qualified female candidates were
verbally raped and violated by the media playing on the stereotyped
perception of the masses. The sad part is that many good people did not even
recognize that these verbal rape crimes had been committed before their very
eyes. Whatever happens now, this should not be left and forgotten. We must
make this misogynistic attitude totally unacceptable in American society, by
starting a new powerful movement .

We must change the culture by changing society’s attitude towards women.

There are more women than men in America and they are equal contributors.
Period. Their physiological difference provides neither advantage nor
disadvantage -- this is the way it is. The emotional and intellectual
potentials differ among women as they do among men. It is the learned
societal behavior and NOT their physiology that attributes to the different
patterns for men and for women. We must change this learned behavior and with
that the society’s perception of WOMEN also will change. My following
suggestions are based on the above statements.

RE-PROGRAMMING OF SOCIETY MUST START WITH WOMEN THEMSELVES:

The society (including women) should stop referring to women as a single
entity. First of all, get rid of the phrase: I AM PROUD TO BE A WOMAN. Have
you ever heard “I AM PROUD TO BE A MAN?”

I am proud to be an American. I am proud to be a wife, a mother. I am proud
to be a husband, a father. We can be proud of what we are, but why should we
be proud to be born of certain sex? It smells like defiance, like trying to
prove that women are equal. Prove to whom? To themselves? To men? Stop
proving! Start FEELING equal, because you are.

Related phrases: “she made all women proud” about a woman astronaut for
example – in reality, she made all PEOPLE proud. Or “she made me ashamed
that she represents women” – I heard it from my woman friend about Sarah
Palin – sigh… My response to her was (aside from informing her of all
good things about Sarah, which MSM failed to mention): “why another
woman’s characteristics make you feel responsible just because you and she
happen to be of the same gender?” Did you hear a man say: Hitler makes me
ashamed that he represents a man? Or John Glenn made all men proud? Stop
treating yourself as a single entity, responsible for every good and bad
woman, and the society will gradually follow suit.

THE SOCIETY SHOULD LEARN THAT ANY ATTEMPT OF STEREOTYPING, GOOD OR BAD, IS
UNACCEPTABLE. IT GOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN STEREOTYPES

Examples of “good” stereotypes:

Women are usually better at… organizing, listening, taking care of sick
children, compassion, asking directions, etc.

Men are usually better at… math, science, making tough decisions,
leading…

And we all are familiar with plenty of negative stereotypes.

The point is: we need to learn to nip in the bud any talk about gender as a
single entity, regardless whether it is men or women, regardless whether or
not it was meant as a compliment or insult. AND watch for the word
“typical”.

The response to such stereotyping comments should be: “where did you get
these statistics? This is not part of my personal experience. I am
surrounded by women engineers and I know quite a few househusbands who take
care of sick children“. The same response works for negative stereotyping:
do not let it slide by. Immediately point out several examples of the
opposite sex, who has the same negative qualities. Don’t get defensive:
your quiet retaliations will make the offenders look uncomfortable and it
will be difficult for him/her to continue down that path.

DOUBLE STANDARD: the MSM happily chattered whether or not Sarah Palin can be
a good mother of 5 and a good public servant in the same time. They did not
question Gore or Edwards (4 kids each), or Biden (a single parent for
sometime). The most disgusting was the fact that women themselves thought it
was a legitimate question. Don’t do it from now on: forcefully retaliate
any double standard no matter how innocent or how good intentioned it
appears. Watch like a hawk for every hint of it. Women got used to it so
much that they don’t event notice it. Train your eyes and ears. The
physical appearance should not be even a topic if business characteristics
are discussed: beautiful or ugly, well dressed or tasteless should not be on
the table. Family matters: divorce, children, husband’s business –
should not be brought into a discussion. What is acceptable for gossip
column should be unacceptable for Wolf Blitzer. We must train ourselves and
work with our friends. Watch for innocent words, such as “catty”,
“emotional”, “robot-like”, “doll”, and not so innocent:
“claws come out”, “bitching”, “pimping”, w..., or worse… Watch
for cartoons – we laugh with them, but we must learn to recognize hidden
double standard. The litmus test would be – see how that would sound if we
replace a female with the male. If it still applicable, it is not a double
standard. If it is not as effective, or funny, or as natural to apply to a
man, then we are dealing with a blatant double standard. Don’t defend the
woman in question (e.g., a political candidate). Just ask how her appearance
or family matter negates her proven record as a governor or a congresswoman.
Have several examples of men in the equivalent situation. Put the pundit on
the defensive. If in political rally someone waives an insulting sign or
yells insults related to women’s place in the world, or women’s anatomy,
forcefully attack media for not properly covering this incident with high
outrage. Don’t let anything like this slide by from now on.

INSULTS:

The problem with insults of women is that they are generously handed out by
both men and women. If you don’t like a woman you might say “I hate this
fat cow”. Did you notice, you don’t like her personality or work ethics,
or something else that has nothing to do with her physical appearance, but
you expressed it by insulting her appearance nevertheless. That is how it
played with Hillary and Palin: their qualification was (wink-wink) cleverly
replaced with blatant or camouflaged assault on them being women. We must not
allow this to happen again. Sorry guys, in order for us to fight with
misogynists, we must stop using “witch”, “b-ch”, “fat cow” and
other similar epithets towards Oprah and Michelle. Otherwise, it would be a
fair game for women that we like. But we will have real fun watching out and
retaliate upon any hint of verbal rape by media or our surrounding.

DON'T OVERDO IT:

Obviously, if the appearance IS the matter – in performing art or sport for
example – have a field day discussing it. If it is a formal dinner, please
discuss dresses of political dignitaries and their spouses. It is different
than discussing their job qualifications through their appearance.

If a man opens door for you, or gives you his chair, or picks up your pen if
you dropped it, it is good etiquette – don’t get insulted. If he does
not do it, don’t get offended.

In summary:

We must change misogynistic society – it is difficult battle, but we must
start somewhere.
In order to train society, women first must train themselves:
1) Recognize signs of stereotypes (good or bad), double standards, and
insults (sometimes well masked)
2) Never let it slide by. Nip on the bud every attempt of belittling or
condescending behavior. Don’t let the society treat women as a single
entity. Women are as diverse as men. Don’t let professional qualifications
be replaced with the discussion of personal matters.
3) Forcefully retaliate every insult during rallies, or political shows.
Don’t let media sweep under the rug a single ugly incident. We need to do
everything we can to raise public outrage.

The time to complain is over. The honest people, men and women, recognize
the urgency to put the end to misogynist society in America. Start acting
now.